How To Be Your Own Date (+ 7 solo date ideas)
Welcome to Be Your Own Date - a space dedicated to all things self-care and wellbeing. If you haven’t already done so, I encourage you to take a look at my other posts; I hope you’ll like them and find them useful too! I am building a collection of thoughtful articles, tips and resources for you to tap into and to uplift you, as well as to get you thinking.
Each week, brimming with ideas, I take some time out to choose a topic and write a new blog post, often with the TV turned down low or some music playing in the background. Have you listened to my Feel Good Spotify playlist yet?
In this post, I have decided to share what inspired me to create this space and my take on how to Be Your Own Date. I must say, revisiting my passion for writing and sharing my experiences through this blog feels very satisfying.
How to Be Your Own Date
Definition of Be Your Own Date | Graphic by Amy-Jo Lynch
Dating is fun. It’s an opportunity to get to know someone in different contexts and to enjoy their company. But how many of us intentionally date ourselves? I mean really taking the time to get to know ourselves and to focus on our wellbeing, goals, self-development, interests, self-care, and even enjoying our own company.
My interpretation of Be Your Own Date has nothing to do with your relationship status. It is all about creating a safe space to have conversations, including the uncomfortable ones, and inspire others to learn and develop new skills to enhance their self-care and wellbeing. I am particularly interested in financial wellbeing because managing our personal finances can be overwhelming and a source of stress and anxiety, yet can also be empowering when managed effectively.
Enhancing financial wellbeing can also have a positive impact on our physical, emotional and social wellbeing too! That’s why I think it’s important to focus on budgeting, spending consciously and saving, as well as opening up conversations about money through sharing feel good content, 1:1 coaching support and online workshops further down the line. After all, self-care includes taking care of our personal finances, right? Whenever you engage with Be Your Own Date content and community, I want you to leave feeling good about yourself and feeling better about your finances.
Date yourself first
Whilst I am a sociable person and enjoy being around other people, I equally enjoy my own company and taking time out for myself, and doing the things that I enjoy, solo. Yes, take yourself out on a date! This is intentional rather than accidental or a last resort, although it doesn't necessarily matter how you get there. So for me, Be Your Own Date is about being comfortable in my own skin and deepening my understanding of myself, my needs and what I want out of life. It’s also about challenging yourself at times, and stepping outside of your comfort zone. And how about reflecting on your needs and prioritising your self-care and wellbeing?! I can’t emphasise that enough! You will feel soooo much better for it.
Have you ever felt like doing something, but felt unsure about doing it alone? Perhaps now is the time to try it out. As you may know, I absolutely adore travelling and going on adventures because it is a great opportunity to meet new people and learn about different cultures and perspectives. Let me tell you about a time when I did just that! I’d always wanted to spend a month abroad in a Spanish-speaking country and practice my Español! Well, that’s exactly what I did. This was certainly taking a step, well quite a few steps, outside of my comfort zone and a journey of self-exploration. If you have ever dreamt of doing something different, just do it - no matter how big or small! For example, taking adult ballet classes or learning to dance Bachata. Be bold!
Here's how I did it, breaking my plan down into small, manageable steps
I picked a...
Specific location: Albaicín district in Granada, Andalusia, Spain. I chose this location because I’ve always been fascinated by the history of The Moors and Moorish architecture, and wanted to visit Southern Spain.
Language school: Escuela Delengua, which I highly recommend.
Place to stay: a shared flat above the language school - oh so convenient for morning classes!
Date: ASAP! I visited Granada in May and it was hot! Like, really hot! So bear that in mind when planning your next trip or activity.
Length of time to go away: one month - I only wish it was longer, but I had work commitments (sigh).
All of the above was achieved on a lean budget. Those budget plans and spreadsheets really do come in handy for trips, as well as for everyday spending. Have a read of my Budgeting Checklist for more financial inspiration.
Tip: Granada is a beautiful town with a friendly student population. There’s a lot to see and do in and around the vicinity, from beaches to mountains. And the food is divine, think delicious tapas, often served free-of-charge when ordering a drink. Yup, the secret is out! Thank me later!
Take a look at my top tips for solo travel for more guidance.
Why I like to date myself
Boost my confidence, wellbeing and practice self-care
Explore new places, from hidden gems locally to travelling around the UK or abroad
Try out things, even if others may not be interested
"Me time"
Challenge myself and face my fears
Enjoy my own company and be comfortable in my own skin
Doing some things on my own and not relying on someone else helps to create a sense of independence and fulfilment
Doing things you really want to do on your own schedule - and by the way, it's totally OK to say "no" to the things that you're not keen on doing
Tell me, what does Be Your Own Date mean to you? Let me know in the Comments section below and connect with me on your socials.
7 solo date ideas
Are you ready to take yourself out on a date? Simply let your imagination run wild, consider your budget, make a plan and go for it! Here are seven of my favourite solo dates that I have personally tried and enjoyed. Perhaps you'll enjoy one (or more) of them too?!
Hanging out at the majestic Alhambra in Granada, Spain
Eating out - I once attended a vegan supper club for some food inspiration and to meet new people with similar interests.
Theatre - Depending on your budget, look out for cheap tickets, usually in the seats high up, affectionately known as the "the gods", or treat yourself to the stalls upfront if you are able to splurge.
Cinema - This might sound a little quirky, but I do enjoy a good horror film or documentary, especially with a Q&A and time for discussion. My highlight was meeting my favourite documentary filmmaker, Nick Broomfield. Yes, I am that enthusiastic fellow filmgoer who might just ask your opinions on the film once the lights go up!
Going for a walk - Enjoying nature and it’s a chance to clear my head.
Travel - Before I travelled to Granada, I spent almost a month in Haiti volunteering with a disaster-relief organisation after the earthquake in 2010. Read all about my experience in Haiti here.
Concerts - I went to see the wonderful soul singer, Angie Stone at the Roundhouse in Camden, London. I booked a seat, rather than standing, so felt less conscious about it.
Spa days - One of the few times I feel totally relaxed is when I visit a spa. I immediately feel my shoulders drop and the tension in my body is lifted. You really can't beat some "me time".
Tell me, what do you like to do on your solo dates? Let me know in the Comments section below.
1:1 Wellbeing Coaching ☀️
I am delighted to share that I can support you with your life and work transitions through 1:1 Wellbeing Coaching.
Curious to know more? Read about my unique approach, personalised coaching programme and what to expect while we work together.
When you are ready to get in touch, submit your interest in personal coaching sessions or pass on this information if you think it might benefit a loved one.
💌 Share and subscribe
I hope that you have found this information useful. Please share my blog if you know someone who might be interested. Together, we can reach as many people as possible.
You can also subscribe to my newsletter, that way you’ll never miss a post! You lucky thing!
Be kind to yourself. Be Your Own Date.
~ Amy-Jo ☀️
